Relationship skills training and online certification part 2

Part 2

This is the second part of my article and presents some of my own conclusions based on years of personal experiences, research, reading and of course personal filters. These conclusions are open to modification and may change as technology improves or experience dictates.

Firstly.

Ask yourself the following

Would you expect a martial arts teacher to present Dan grades to a student based on the student practising at home, even if with one or two mates, and would you want to trust the student as a bodyguard or support him in a competition?

Do you think there is a professional sports manager in the country who would accept a new player who had only ever kicked a ball around the streets or at school, and put him into a first or reserve team? And if you were a fan would you be happy about it?

If you owned a horse would you let a complete novice ride it who had practised at home on the arm of a chair?

Would you wish to be operated on by a medical student who had never been in theatre?

When considering the Questions presented

[1: Can skills involving personal relationships between two or more people be taught, and used/practised effectively, with the technology currently available to us, without the teacher/trainer being physically present?]

• Media training is effective at transferring information

The teacher/trainer can transfer information very effectively with current media technology. That information, when presented effectively, could become knowledge and assist in the trainee practising and developing new relationship skills.

•  Media training will not provide appropriate relationship skills feedback

The media will not necessarily allow the transfer of the direct feedback to the trainee, particularly where the skills require the trainee to have pointed out to them unconscious states and behaviours ,which may not be useful to the intention of applying the skills. Nor will they be given the positive feedback that they are on the right track.

It is unlikely that the trainee will be practising the new skills with individuals she/he does not know, and there will probably be filters and patterns already in place which will inhibit direct, useful feedback,when practising, and because of already existing relationships may actually produce negative states and behaviours not useful in those relationships.

•  Media training will exclude valuable information and feedback

The teacher/ trainer, even if video and audio feeds are used, will miss ,what may be, valuable information in the form of quickly changing states and contextual cues which in a live training could accelerate or enable learning in the trainee.

Note: The above could occur in a larger training where insufficient, skilled and proficient assistants are made available.

The trainee will likely miss the possibility of unconsciously modelling and assimilating the skills of the trainer, which the trainer could not present consciously or the skill becomes clunky and or incongruent.

The trainee will not see examples of the new skills from an observers or another’s point of view, with single and multiple participants offering the chance of experiencing the many variations of behaviours and states that make us human and relationships complex. And the effect of those states and behaviours on the trainee her/him self.

Additionally a relationship skill needs to be practised in an ongoing relationship (or is that too obvious to state)

[2:Can the teacher/trainer be confident that the individual being trained has assimilated the necessary skills to the extent that the teacher/trainer is willing to certify the individual as a practitioner who will use these skills as an Agent of Change with others?]

•  Access to conscious knowledge will possibly be available

The teacher/trainer will be able to access the conscious knowledge of the trainee to a degree with the use of written or recorded replies to a series of questions.

•  Access to unconscious knowledge and skills will be severely limited

As has already been alluded to however, the replies will not only be conscious, thus not including the unconscious states, behaviours and contexts in which they are being presented, they will also be missing a key component. That of showing the skills in the context of  continuously changing and unpredictable relationship/s. The whole point of the training.

[3:Can the teacher/trainer be confident that, the individual professing to have learnt these skills is the same individual at the remote end of the technology being used?]

•  Strict controls would need to be enforced

With the correct security and policing yes possibly. But lets not assume the integrity and honesty, whatever these labels mean to you, of human beings. We may not even be aware we are cheating consciously. It has been proposed that we lie to others 200 times a day.

[4:Can the individual being trained be confident that the certifying teacher/trainer is who they say they are, and possess the necessary skills required to teach/train and then certify them?]

•  Participants must take responsibility for choosing an appropriate teacher/trainer

Yes the prospective trainee can check credentials and even meet with the teacher/trainer, who may have an incredible CV. It doesn’t mean that the same teacher trainer will be marking the trainee’s input, nor does it guarantee that the teacher/trainer walks her/his walk and is able to demonstrate the skills needed to assist that particular trainee.

The most important relationship to begin with will be that of the teacher/trainer and trainee, in a relationship focussed programme such as NLP practitioner, how could it not be.

Conclusions

•  Quality,not speed,is key

Although I might understand the propensity for teachers/trainers to want to find new ways to present to participants a new set of skills, and in some contexts remote media training may be applicable, I find it hard to conceive of this being the case when considering relationship training certification.

•  Tools,techniques and knowledge do not guarantee assimilation of skills

Yes some tools and techniques can be taught and knowledge imparted, yet to expect any level of quality to be ensured, and isn’t that the point of certification, without the teacher/trainer and trainee working in concert together, in an environment where both can congruently present and practice the skills within ongoing relationships, seems to me to be naive and possibly counterproductive.

The trainee may receive a certificate and with it the unfounded confidence to practise, with other individuals, a set of skills that could open Pandora’s box for the client or friend, and the teacher/trainer and trainee with an interesting professional or insurance issue or two.

•  Relationship skills training is a double edged sword

Any prospective trainee looking to be certified should equally be wary of such programmes as I do not believe they will receive the quality training appropriate to what can be life changing fields. Additionally the participants of such a programme should recognise that they themselves will have patterns shifted, and personal changes, when learning these new skills and may not be aware of the consequences of not dealing with them or being guided by a skilled practitioner as they present themselves.

•  Short cut’s very often degrade quality

The field of change should also be aware that short cuts for the purpose of saving time and money, no matter how well intentioned, by teachers/trainers and trainees can only result in a degradation of quality in whatever field, and thereby a loss in confidence in those looking to change or make use of the skills available in a specific field.

• A decrease in quality will lead to a loss of confidence and earning’s

The public sector, health and business arenas have begun to accept new ways of providing assistance to their staff in the form of communication, relationship and change programmes. It will not take them long in reversing that trend if there is an increase in certified practitioners ill equipped to deal with the complex relationship building organisms they profess to be assisting.

A personal note

•  I remain to be convinced

I for one,based on my current experiences and understanding,will not be offering certification for relationship programmes online, and will continue to insist that participants show me evidence of their skills personally.And where a participant is joining an advanced and or additional programme,having previously been certified elsewhere,a referral from a trainer that I know,has the necessary skills, and has trained them in person,before issuing certificates or acting as a co-signatory on my programmes or an-others.

Martin Wyse

Relationship skills training and online certification.

Relationship skills training and online certification.

Part 1

I am prompted to write this article having been asked by clients if I provided online certification for the Communication and Relationship programmes I teach.The programmes in question, in this instance, being NLP Practitioner/Master Practitioner and Hypnosis,understanding that the questions posed can be expanded to include other fields.

The question triggered me to consider the implications of providing such a programme and I decided to share my thoughts, with the intention of obtaining others views on the subject.

I have reached some conclusions,how could I not,and will not present them immediately so the article will be in 2 parts.

Note:The relationship skills being discussed are assumed to be those set of skills useful in enabling an individual to act as a certified,proficient Agent of Change(e.g.:Coach,Therapist,Councillor)with others.

A brief overview of some of the questions I asked myself.

• 1:Can skills involving personal relationships between two or more people be taught, and used/practised effectively, with the information technology currently available to us, without the teacher/trainer being physically present?

Note: I have said people, but the question could be applied to people and other living organisms such as Horses or Octopi.

• 2:Can the teacher/trainer be confident that the individual being trained has assimilated the necessary skills to the extent that the teacher/trainer is willing to certify the individual as a proficient practitioner, who will be able to use these skills as an Agent of Change, with positive results for the practitioner and others?

• 3:Can the teacher/trainer be confident that ,the individual professing to have learnt these skills is the same individual at the remote end of the technology being used?

• 4:Can the individual being trained be confident that the certifying teacher/trainer is who they say they are, and possess the necessary skills required to teach/train and then certify them?

Examples of some of the subjects I consciously/unconsciously considered when reading and ruminating on the questions as stated above.

• Relationships are complex

Any relationship between two or more living beings is very complex and not predictable.

“Hit a croquet ball with a mallet and you may be able to reasonably predict where the ball will go.Now exchange the ball for a living hedgehog and the mallet for a living flamingo”

Ask Alice (“Alice in Wonderland”)

• Relationships will effect others actions directly and indirectly

The actions of an individual/s in a relationship will ,at many levels, modify the actions of other individual/s in the same,or connected,relationship/s.Very often the above is not known consciously by the individuals.

“Ever noticed the change in a group when a charismatic,whatever that means to you,individual approaches the group?Or how the laughter of a small child,or the playful antics of a puppy or kitten can shift the state of those around it?”

• Living beings senses are normally unconscious processes and contextually adaptable

Living beings have multiple senses the use of which is rarely available to conscious awareness, and in some instances, probably never should be.

These senses are very sensitive to minute changes, or news of difference, based on a comparison of changes in state, and changes in state can be enhanced or de sensitised depending on the context in which they are active.

“Should you ever be sent to a Jungle, having lived in an urban environment, or visa versa, I suggest your senses would first be overloaded and then self adjust the individual senses thresholds appropriate to the new context”

• Information by itself is not knowledge

Individuals assimilate information (news of difference),which is filtered through their senses, neurological structures and filters, but until the information is connected to other already existing information and experiences, the information is meaningless and can not be called knowledge.

“That is a Cat…..There is a flap in the door……and ?”

• Knowledge does not equate to skills

Knowledge, in and of itself, does not produce skills.

“If I throw this dart at that board and hit it, the pointy end will stick in it…Knowing this does not mean I will be a skilled darts player”

• Information and knowledge are not always consciously available

Information is assimilated both consciously (the individual has some awareness that it exists) and unconsciously (the individual has no awareness it has been assimilated)

“Watch an individual who is severely phobic of spiders in a context where there is a probability of one or more being present, they will not necessarily be aware they are scanning for the little beasties yet they will detect the smallest of them with minimal cues very quickly.The same information is available to you and you had no conscious awareness it was there ,assuming you are not phobic of them yourself, until you notice the behaviours and state of the arachnophobe.”

• Building skills requires practise and direct,appropriate feedback

Skills, both physical and mental, require practise and direct, timely feedback for them to be acquired and used proficiently. Any delay, no matter how small, can distort or delete the feedback, as can existing filters, possibly making the feedback of no practical use.

“How long did it take you to learn to walk ,talk, ride a bike, catch a ball? Each involved immediate and sometimes painful feedback”

• Skills are most effectively used unconsciously

With practise and direct feedback, skills eventually drop from conscious awareness into the unconscious for periods of time.

“When was the last time you had to think about getting through a revolving door?”

When skills are practised consciously they are rarely as effective or efficient.

“Consider the process of catching a ball…could you coordinate all the senses and physiological processes needed to catch it consciously?”

• Skills and learning are usually very context dependant 

Skills are often specific to a particular context and can be degraded when used in a different context.

“Playing a guitar upside down is a challenge for any guitarist”

Having read the above, please consider the questions and I will introduce you to my conclusions in Part 2. And look forward to your insights.

Synkinesia (Together Movement)

If you’re interested in change/NLP/ Hypnosis/attention.Check in for a piece on Synkinesia here soon.Teaser…..I will tweet a notation from my Kindle over the next two days from an interesting book which has rejuvenated an interest I have in Attention and physiology. 🙂

I dont really understand and it works (REIKI)

There is one area in my life where I made a decision, early on in my learning a new skill ,to accept what was happening and not spend too much time questioning the reality or asking how.

Having been made a Reiki Master in 2001 (I was also training as a Hypnotherapist at the time)I chose to use Reiki in my own environment without fuss or charging money for providing it as a service(A personal decision grown I suspect from Diane Stein and her book “Essential Reiki”),this decision included providing Reiki attunements without monetary charges (There are conditions attached,see note later)

Reiki is one of those areas that I consider to work at “Perceptions Edge”,where understanding what is occurring at a sensory level is difficult and surprising/novel,And I have not felt it necessary to push,prod or probe at it’s all to obvious positive effects for me (you will have your own experiences or not)and the many people and animals I have assisted or taught.

[If you know me you will recognise how strange this state of not knowing or needing to know is for me]

So, Martin does it work? you might say. Yes it does, and it exists in my reality (or one of them 🙂 ) as one of those skills/tools that if we all agreed with and actioned its core principles (we can heal ourselves and others) our relationship with the world and our personal realities would be somewhat different and dare I say more pleasant.

But ,Martin , Isn’t it strange,magical hoodoo?…. Only to the extent you decide it is, is a mother kissing a childs bruised knee and the pain going away strange? NO is that real Magic YES.

So using the principle of “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” I doubt I shall ever really question the how or why and focus on the intention (Healing)  leaving Reiki as a tool to that end at “Perceptions Edge”.

NOTE: Conditions for Attunement with no monetary charge.

1: In my time and where I choose.(I’m altruistic but hey I have a life 🙂 .)

2: I expect participants to pay associated expenses divided equally between them and this includes any organising party.

3:I would prefer prospective participants to be known to me or refered to me by some one I know.

4:Participants agree to provide me with information as to how they want to use Reiki and for what purpose prior to any attunement.

5:Those attuned agree to not charge for giving Reiki.(They are welcome to exchange services and there will be no policing , their word and a handshake is their bond)

6:There is no certificate issued,if the above (5:) is agreed there is no need for one.

7:I reserve the right to choose who I teach or not without explanation.

I have personally made a decision to not charge and associated with that have provided my own conditions,I believe that we each make our choices as to how we teach and in what contexts (I do charge for other trainings, coaching, facilitation and workshops) and therefore understand that Reiki is a tool/skill that is charged for elsewhere.

I have no planned attunements at present and will update this blog if I do.

L&L Martin

A veil between worlds (Mindfull Dreaming 26th September 2010)

We can spend up to a half of our life sleeping and a third of that dreaming…..What could you,would you decide to do with that time?

The veil between our dreaming and sleeping realities is a thin one,the boundary between the two easily crossed.Sometimes these crossings are made consciously with intention, and for those of you who have the skills to do so you may recognise some of the following.For those of you yet to learn these skills (and they are skills)of passing from one reality to another and consciously creating multiple environments in which to learn,develop, play and evolve, I envy your first steps into new realms.

(Travellers in these realms are called Oneironauts)

Science has shown, over the past 20 years or so, what artists (generalised term),mystics,teachers and every child knows at heart.1:That we all dream(we might not remember them!).2:That dreams have a real effect on our awakened state (whatever that is)just as our awakened states effect our dreams.3:That we can become conscious whilst dreaming and in doing so explore new worlds,worlds that exist with a minimal of interference from the world we believe we are consciously taking part in.4:That we can learn to cross the veil at will with intention.

These alternative realities can also unfortunately be a source of anxiety and fear to those who on awakening remember parts of their dreams and the feelings or responses to those dreams and consciously apply them in such a way as to cause concern, which can seep into the normal waking day.(nightmares being an example).Thus man has a history of using dreams to assist not only in understanding but in healing .

Understanding how to travel between waking and dreaming states (and what to do on the other side)offers the individual the development of a set of skills which might be used to enhance theirs and others lives,and with the correct practise will make use of periods of time where we might normally be otherwise engaged in lying still for hours at the whims of the bits and pieces of which we think we are made.

So what might you accomplish while you dream.

How about practising new behaviours,conversations with prospective employers,sports skills,creating new products or ideas,preparing for presentations,activating unconscious learning,meeting with a celebrity or flying around the room,or maybe coaching yourself …….

The veil between dreaming and awakening is thin and lives at Perceptions Edge……..and who is to say when you are awake or dreaming…..about being awake.    🙂

The next programme is less than a week away.

Martin

Inception(The beginning or creation of something)

Having spent some considerable period of time fascinated by,researching and working with Memory,Dreams,Memes and Attention(And in the process of launching seminars on said subjects) it was with some interest that I decided to view the film “Inception”.

I am not sure what my expectations at the time where as they obviously changed as soon as the film began, and I have no real recollection of what they were…Haven’t I 🙂

What is of personal interest is who decided to launch a film that might peak Peoples curiosity in subject areas dear to my heart just as I am launching “Mindful Dreaming” and refining “A reflection of reality”(Subject: Memory) and “The bridge between Worlds”(Subject: Attention).Who or whatever decided on this timing my thanks and I will milk it for all its worth 🙂

The film itself was a stonking good action film (technical term) with a number of thought-provoking themes (I have already read numerous tweets intellectualising its content as you do?) raising questions about reality,dreams,idea installation(memes),memories and yes attentional shifts.

Having had it compared to “The Matrix” I would suspect that it will be discussed in a similar way yet hope it remains a single film (no parts 2 and 3 blah, unless I get astounding numbers for my seminars and a sequel might boost said numbers hmmmmm 😉  )

The fun part is that most of the ideas/plot lines are achievable.I will expand on this in a week or so when more people have had a chance to see the film(ooops am I installing the idea you should see it?????????) as I do not wish this output to become a spoiler.

Now back to the title of this post , as you might have heard (if you haven’t you are now) I have launched a new one day seminar/come workshop on the subject of understanding and working with dreams called

 “Mindful Dreaming”.

The second date has been decided(though its possible others may be inserted between now and then) . The 26th September 2010 (A Sunday this time, outside of the holiday period and a weekend as requested).As previously supplied there is an attached .pdf with the booking contact information.

I will send out a post over the next 2 weeks highlighting the areas in “Inception”covered during the programmes,those of you that have seen the film are welcome to discuss the content with me privately at your leisure.

” Information/Knowledge,News of difference is found at the boundaries between things”…as you fall asleep or wake up you are crossing the boundaries between multiple states of awareness…what if you could increase a conscious understanding of what is available at these boundaries?

What if you could walk Perceptions Edge?

 

Would You?

Mindful Dreaming

Ever wondered what a dream is,or how to remember your dreams or what use they might be? The countdown begins as the “Mindful Dreaming” programme approaches (30th July) see attached pdf. The bits and pieces of which we are made (Bateson)

The first workshop “Mindful Dreaming”

Attached is a . pdf file (click the underscored title) for the first in a new series of workshops exploring ideas at the edge of our understanding.

“Mindful Dreaming”.

The first in a new series of workshops,

presented by Martin Wyse, approaching

consciousness and unconsciousness from an

experiential point of view, and then applying

the learnings to the world around us.

Mindful Dreaming (A beginning) explores the

use of dreams in areas such as increasing

creativity, supporting self awareness and

self healing, adding new tools to coaching and

therapy, enhancing decision making and

improving our everyday quality of life.

© 2010

Hello world!

Welcome to Perceptions Edge…………….